Aclimation Failure

I went into SM Appliance today to inquire about a clothes dryer since rainy season is starting and last year the clothes would sometimes get a funky odor to them. I asked the salesman if they had any "drying machines" which is how I have heard a bunch of people refer to them. I was trying to be cool and fit in. The salesman gave me a pitying smile and gave me a look like I was was an idiot, and politely asked, "M'am, do you mean a dryer". Blech! Massive failure on my part.

Election

Next year will be the presidential elections. I am still (after over three years here) at times very confused by politics here and still have not fully grasped how everything works. I am ecstatic that GMA will be out of power (unless she pulls some last minute shenanigans). I also love the parody videos that tend to come out around this time as well. This is by far my favorite of the moment.

Bathrooms in the Philippines

Bathrooms in the Philippines are a unique experience. Most times, an unpleasant one. Public toilets (i.e., malls, parks, entertainment venues) are probably the worst. They are severely lacking in some basics. There are some pay lounges (usually about P10 or about $.25) which are fine. The secret of a perfect bathroom here for me is it must have the following:

1. Toilet Seat. You may assume that a toilet would have a toilet seat but trust me, this is a luxury. Most have no toilet seat which means you get to do the half squat.

2. Toilet Paper. Most public bathrooms do not have toilet paper. There is a machine in the front of most bathrooms that one can buy tissue for...I have no idea. I carry it with me now.

3. Flusher. Yup. Many bathrooms still have no flusher which means that you must take a bucket of water and pour it at the correct angle and gravity will take care of the rest. I suck at this and usually end up with a toilet of diluted pee. Luckily this is becoming less common in malls but still very prevalent in private homes and small businesses.

4. Soap. Soap is really hard to find and often when you do find it, it is so diluted, it is mostly water. I guess a money saving measure. At a restaurant, you will often see the signs for the employees outlining hand washing. Better not to think too much about how the chef is washing his hands without soap.

Optional:
5. Paper towels. This is the gold star of bathrooms. Hard to find. Always makes me happy.

Most bathrooms will have signs stating please throw tissue in the trash. Tissue is usually not supposed to be flushed.

The sign at the top of the post reads, "Do not step on the toilet seat". I was completely confused by this until recently. A little girl in our family went to go use the restroom while we were visiting at the hospital and completely stripped off her jeans and underpants. She then went into the bathroom and squatted on the toilet like a frog. It turns out that this is how most kids here are potty trained. I was told otherwise they would fall into the toilet which confused me because I have never seen a kid in the US do this nor have I seen a kid fall into a toilet. I think I have to chalk it up to the lack of toilet seats. Without a toilet seat, a kid can definitely fall in and they are too short to do the lovely half-squat.

The picture above is a bathroom in a restaurant. People here always use a bidet or a little bucket (tabo) as pictured above. This was the first bathroom I saw that provided soap with the tabo.

Many, many, many people do not have overhead showers. This has been explained to me as either an issue with water pressure (without a pump, the pressure with not bring the water up to the shower head or there is no pump) or in more remote areas, lack of indoor plumbing. The way to bathe without a shower is pictured above. It is a large bucket filled with water and a little bucket is used to pour water over the body. This is what I have been using for the past 18 months (we fall into the water pressure camp). It sucks washing your hair because it takes forever to get the shampoo and conditioner out. Water comes out at a tepid temperature. A scary water heater can be used which is a small cylinder attached to a cord which is then dropped in the bucket. I am not sure why it does not electrocute more people, but apparently it does not because they are sold everywhere.

So, knowing all this, I of course have gone opposite route. In our new home, we have installed toilets with a flusher...

showers with shower heads (we have awesome water pressure in our new neighborhood so no water pump or tank is needed)...


little bidet faucet things by every toilet...

and of course, hot water heaters in each bathroom (as well as the kitchen....I like washing dishes in hot water)...

The final items to remember about bathrooms here:

1. When lining up in a crowded bathroom you do not form one line, rather you select a stall and stand outside of that one. It is a gamble and often I always pick the slowest one for no reason.

2. If there are people in uniforms outside of a bathroom, you likely have to pay

3. Bathrooms here are often referred to as "CR" (Comfort Room)

4. Tampons will never be found anywhere. Not in a machine, not in the drugstore down the street, and not in the purse of another restroom patron. ALWAYS have a spare.

Since I am a woman I know little about men's restrooms. If you are a man, you can pretty much pee anywhere. Side of the road, in a pink government issued urinal on the street, really ANYWHERE. I don't think a single day has passed here that I have not seen a man urinating in public. In fact, we have had people who live in the states visit us, and the second they return here they start peeing outdoors again. I don't get it. They can control it in the states but not here?

Side note: In our current neighborhood, the water in turned off at 9pm. Every night. This means that I have to shower before nine or have extra water stored (see, the bucket/tabo combo has benefits) and that I always brush my teeth with water that we keep in a bottle in the bathroom. This is NOT common in Manila. I am not sure why the water to our neighborhood is turned off. If we do not turn off our pump at 9pm, the water that comes out smells like sewer. Again, not really sure why.

Year of the Rat

I am a creature of habit. Everyday I wake up, brush my teeth, drink a cup of coffee, and take my dog for a walk. Once I leash him up, he always bolts out of the gate at full speed so he can pee at his favorite corner. The other morning there was a slight change of plan.

When my dog bolted out of the gate, at the corner he found a GIANT rat which he then proceeded to pick up in his mouth and kill. The rat was making horrible squealing noises. I, being the responsible pet owner I am, threw the leash down and ran. I could not even look at him because it was so disgusting (mind you, I am not scared of rodents but I am horrified watching my dog kill one). I buried my face into the shoulder of a random stranger and told him my dog was killing a rat. I went inside and got Jeff (hmmm, maybe there is a good reason to have household staff) and he nicely retrieved my dog and disposed of the rat. (I love Jeff).

I brought the dog to the vet for a tetanus shot (he already has the rest of his required injections) and besides a small cut in his mouth and leg, my dog is good to go.

No one here seems to understand my disgust at the dog killing a rat. In fact, a couple of people have jokingly asked me to borrow the dog to kill rats around their property.

For Jonnifer: Jeremy Jordan

My sister Jonnifer and I recently spent an afternoon sending each other Youtube videos of music from our middle school/high school days. There were videos of people we used to listen to as well as just the random bizarre ones. Jeremey Jordan fell into the bizarre category. He made his short term debut into the music world on Beverly Hills 90210, playing at the Peach Pit After Dark. Today we had the TV on in our car and his video started to play (the station was doing 90's music I guess. What are the chances?


Oh yeah, it is worth noting that most of the music video stations play the lyrics at the bottom of the screen. No idea why.

Philippines and the F-Bomb

People do not swear too much here. Or at least not in public. This is tough for me. I used to be able to swear a lot and in the states (or perhaps just San Francisco where hella is still used frequently, much to the confusion and disdain of outsiders) it is not all that odd to drop some f-bombs in normal conversation. When I do it here, I feel like a freak. A dirty freak. A godless heathen freak (which everybody already thinks I am. I could write a book about the number of people trying to sell me god on a daily basis. This is why I read my copy of "God is Not Great" at home only. I was scared people in public would stone me).

I miss being able to say fuck in everyday conversation.

Lines, Fixers, and the NBI

Here there are very few (actually I do not think any) government institutions that we go to without a friend who works there or knows someone who does. Anytime we need a document from a governement authority, we find a friend or a friend of a friend that works there to expedite the process as well allowing us to skip all lines.

This remained true when we visited the NBI (National Bureau of Investigation). The NBI seem like it is the same as the FBI, the exception being that any security clearance that is needed for an individual, including employment, requires a trip to the NBI. Apparently once you are on the blacklist of the NBI, there is little you can do to get off of it. For example, our architect team has a painter that they love and use on all of their homes but they can't get him clearance into our subdivision because he cannot get NBI clearance. Everyone told me once you get arrested (regardless for how minor the infraction), it is difficult to work anywhere.

We went to the NBI and were happily breezing through the process. Then we came to the fingerprinting portion. We got into line and were contentedly waiting for our turn until a lady cut in line and about six people decided to follow her. We (along with two ladies behind us), started to make a stink and were telling the lady to get back to her spot, etc. At this point, our friend comes up to me, asks me to follow him and takes me to the front of the line.

This was quite embarrassing. Here I am making a ruckus over someone cutting and then I proceed to cut the ENTIRE line! It is also worth noting that not only am I quite tall, but I was the only foreigner in the entire NBI that day. This means my cutting was VERY evident to the people I had only moments before been figuratively cussing out.

The Rest of the Story...........

I finally found out the rest of the story. N was trying to stab R because he thought R was spreading a rumor that he was giving away cement from a project that my mother-in-law hired him to do.

That's it. Cement here is same as the states--a fairly cheap item. Life is back to normal I guess because N was back on the site yesterday working. R filed a police report so that way if she appears dead the police will have an easy time solving the crime.

All this over a rumor about cement!!!!!

The Curse of Not Speaking Tagalog (Yeah right, like this would happen to anyone else)

To truly appreciate the bizarreness of tonight, I will have to start with dinner. My father-in-law was going ballroom dancing so he was dressing up and headed down first for dinner.

When I go downstairs, to the living room I see him arguing with one of the guys in the neighborhood (N). My father-in-law keeps grabbing (as it appears to me) at his crotch. A random guy (R) who I have never seen is sitting on the ottoman so I ask him what my father-in-law is doing. He tells me the neighborhood guy has a knife. I am already confused at this point. My father in law gets the big scary knife from N's pants and that is when N decides it would be a good time to take a swing at R. They start fighting with my father-in-law (who will be 79 next month) trying to keep them apart.

I decide to be of some use and hold back N (who is too nice to hit a woman) until R gets away from my father-in-law and starts coming forward to attack N at which time I decide I will get a big man from outside. (While the fighting is happening, Ado is nicely tucking away the knife and the maid is taking my mother-in-law to the courtyard to make sure she doesn't get hurt). The only guy I can find outside (the streets are randomly very empty tonight) is the maid's son who is 21 years old and stands at about 6'. Unfortunately he can't weigh more that 160 or 170 pounds, but pickings were slim.

When I get back (10 seconds later), the mini fight is over and a third guy is bleeding under the eye (he may have been here the whole time...I am not sure). We get N out of the house. R is still sitting downstairs with the bleeding man. I make the bleeding man put Neosporin on his cut.

Everybody is talking and during this time, N comes back for round 2. They get N out and the Barangay chairman comes and everybody talks to him. Barangay chairman leaves. R is still here. Actually, at this very moment R is still here with bleeding man. I assume he is here because if he tries to go home then N will kill him. Also, I was given the knife which was disgustingly sharpened to a psycho point and is now residing safely in my nightstand. (Thank god that most people here do not have guns!!!)

Now, what is the purpose of this entry? Since I do not speak Tagalog, I have NO IDEA what this is about. I have no idea why these guys are fighting, why they are doing it in our house, and why they seem intent on killing each other. The people that speak tagalog well enough to translate for me at too involved with talking to people right now so I have no clue what is happening. R who hasn't spoken much since round 1 speaks great english but I figure he is a little busy right now with the man who is trying to kill him and likely does not want to be a translator.

Cultural Differences with Pets

I was talking to a friend here about my Rottweiler and the large amount of dandruff he has. Since he had a Rottweiler also, I was getting tips about diet, grooming, etc and trying to figure out how to cut down on the flaking. I mentioned to him that the dandruff had started to occur sometime after neutering and that this may be a factor. He stared and me in shock and told me I was cruel to neuter the dog and if I didn't want him to have sex with other dogs I should just keep him in his cage more.

Issues:
1. I think caging is mean
2. My friend thinks caging is normal
3. I think neutering is normal
4. My friend thinks neutering is mean

I still do not own a cage for my dog. My dog still has no testicles. The dandruff is still there but improving slightly now that we have switched to the food recommended by my friend.

Christmas............

Today is August 31. We went to SM San Lazaro today (SM is a huge brand of malls & department stores) to hit up their 50% off sale. We came home with some bowls (randomly branded for JC Penny...yeah I am a classy babe but for P100 ~$2 for five ceramic cereal bowls who cares), some books, yummy Gonuts donuts, and Christmas music. In the states, everybody is having their last picnic of the summer and here they are playing Christmas music. Now as much as I love Christmas, this is waaaay too early for me. I am not even remotely in the mood for Christmas. I am hoping it is just this mall, otherwise I will try to avoid all shopping until mid-November.

Ugh! Christmas music is August! I won't even get into the Christmas tree that was also on display...

Family Planning in the Philippines

Today the Philippine Inquirer published an article by Jaileen Jimeno (viewable here and here) that really opened my eyes to the reality of family planning in the Philippines. Up until now, I thought the lack of family planning was due to 1) lack of education and 2) lack of resources. It was not until I read this article that I realized the direct interference of the government to purposely block access to birth control.

For anybody, anywhere, to think that natural family planning is a solution is an idiot at best. For a top educated president like Arroyo to claim to believe this is asinine. When my grandma and I were talking about this subject when I visited SF earlier this year she told me, "Do you know what they call people who practice natural family planning? Parents."

Some of the stats in the article stunned me. 6 out of every 10 women have an unplanned pregnancy! That shocked me. I knew it was high but I never imagined it was that high. I can't tell you the number or family members/neighbors in our area that have multiple kids before the age of 25. My biggest issue is the fact that women are having more children than they want. If someone wants to have 15 kids, so be it. I am not part of the don't have kids if you can't afford it camp. My issue stems from women who want two or three and end up with six. The infrastructure cannot keep up with the population. It is all just very, very frustrating.

Nobody it seems is focusing on what happens to the kids once they are born. There is an orphanage in the area that we go by and visit every few weeks. There are usually about 50 kids there, many with disabilities and many siblings. If people want all these kids to be born, why are they not taking care of them.

Coming from a city where condoms were available free in high school and my pediatrician told me to call her immediately if I ever had unprotected sex (I was 13--not even close to having sex) to get an emergency high dose of birth control (old school morning after pill) I am stunned to now live in a place where sex education is not even taught in schools. I really fear for the future of the women here. Something has to change but I don't know if it will be soon enough.

Creepy, Creepy, Creepy

We went by the new house site to check on the progress today. On the way out we stopped at the gate to talk to the guard. While there, I noticed a large picture of two young women with a notice stating they were not allowed to leave the village without written permission. When I asked the guard about it, he explained that these two women were household help and their employers did not want them leaving the village.

This is honestly one of the creepiest things I have seen. If you are that distrustful of your staff, why not fire them and hire new ones? I cannot imagine being trapped in a subdivision and only allowed to leave it with express written permission from my employer!

In Case you Missed it......

This video has been EVERYWHERE on the internet, but in case you missed it here is a little glance of the country I call home. I cannot figure out if this is the most genius thing I have ever seen or the oddest. Either way, I love it!! This is at a prison in Cebu.

More Dog Problems

The chiwawa mix is in heat. This is my first time seeing a dog in heat (most people I know have mutts that have been neutered/spayed) and it is not fun. She climbs into my lap and humps my arm. She bleed on a white dress I was wearing (this is actually how I learned she was in heat). She goes outside to the front yard and stands next to the rott so he can sniff/lick her. We are now keeping her away from the rott because if he tries to mount her, it will not be pretty.

Anti-American Mass

So today I went to mass and as always was the one random American. We got there in the middle of mass and the priest was telling the packed church about the Declaration of Independence. He then went on to talk about how these are rights given to people not by their government but by God. He continues to tell everybody that if you cross yourself in an American public school you will go to jail!! What a freak. Ado wrote him a note telling him that that was incorrect and the idea of separation of church and state is not to quell religion but rather allow all people to practice their own religion without any one being forced on them.